just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
