I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
How's work?
Spinning.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Randomize
