Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
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