That's intense
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
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dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
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I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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