pop tarts are not kleenex
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
