Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I love you. Go after that dick
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
