Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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