Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
My cat gives me a boner
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
His nipple licking is glorious
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