I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
