don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
