I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
