I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
