oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
