Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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