She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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