She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
