so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
