If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
