Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
