whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I just had sex on a roof
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Randomize
