Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Randomize
