Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Randomize
