I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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