i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
