he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
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