where does the pee come out of this thing
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
