Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
