That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
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