I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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