So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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