he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
