He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I want you more than these girls want KFC
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
