it was like eating out sand paper
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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