haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
