you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
