But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
