I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
