first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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