I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
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We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
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thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
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