why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Randomize
