Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
