apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
