I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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