I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
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