What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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