Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
