just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Edward fifth and chaser hands
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
