You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Randomize
