Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
The dick lei will go down in squad history
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
