She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
