I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
My liver just had a heart attack.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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