Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Michael Bay diarrhea
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
