you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
