ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
