I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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