I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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