Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
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What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
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I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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