separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
