Texts From Last Night

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  (207): View more from Maine

  The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.

  (207): View more from Maine

  welcome to maine.

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  (207): The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade. (207): welcome to maine. http://tfl.nu/bd8m
  Replies (47) Good night (839) Bad night (2858)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy

  (1-602): View more from Arizona

  amen to that sister

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  (602): if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy (1-602): amen to that sister http://tfl.nu/k1jo
  Replies (21) Good night (3641) Bad night (885)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences

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  (617): heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences http://tfl.nu/f7mm
  Replies (3) Good night (1046) Bad night (2868)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.

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  (401): Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name. http://tfl.nu/4teg
  Replies (13) Good night (6482) Bad night (2293)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Going to get a "plan B"urrito

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  (612): Going to get a "plan B"urrito http://tfl.nu/muvk
  Replies (7) Good night (3208) Bad night (1454)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.

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  (410): Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style. http://tfl.nu/gn5p
  Replies (9) Good night (3608) Bad night (1156)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!

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  (406): There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go! http://tfl.nu/765a
  Replies (9) Good night (2686) Bad night (866)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on

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  (508): Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on http://tfl.nu/0ff0
  Replies (8) Good night (1157) Bad night (672)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat

  (614): View more from Ohio

  repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES

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  (614): my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat (614): repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES http://tfl.nu/9vr3
  Replies (6) Good night (1953) Bad night (754)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.

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  (716): The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us. http://tfl.nu/j1ej
  Replies (11) Good night (2684) Bad night (644)
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall

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  (949): I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall http://tfl.nu/bi4y
  Replies (12) Good night (1015) Bad night (923)
• Favorite

  (706): View more from Georgia

  Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this

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  (706): Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this http://tfl.nu/g9na
  Replies (5) Good night (1081) Bad night (599)
• Favorite

  (906): View more from Michigan

  2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?

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  (906): 2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night? http://tfl.nu/07lp
  Replies (1) Good night (901) Bad night (378)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..

  (1-920): View more from Wisconsin

  On the bright side I still got laid

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  (920): You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster.. (1-920): On the bright side I still got laid http://tfl.nu/wjnz
  Replies (3) Good night (881) Bad night (357)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!

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  (407): Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?! http://tfl.nu/mmxw
  Replies (3) Good night (233) Bad night (553)

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