the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Here’s Why Hotel Photos On Travel Websites Are A Complete Hoax
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.