you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?