I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.