Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Randomize
