Texts From Last Night

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  (443): View more from Maryland

  I could have mohawked her pubes.

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  (443): I could have mohawked her pubes. http://tfl.nu/msas
  Replies (59) Good night (624) Bad night (4704) Order T-Shirt
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  (406): View more from Montana

  someone owes me an orgasm

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  (406): someone owes me an orgasm http://tfl.nu/u7wj
  Replies (17) Good night (1405) Bad night (3176) Order T-Shirt
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.

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  (413): You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago. http://tfl.nu/l8io
  Replies (10) Good night (5804) Bad night (1082)
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?

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  (865): Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store? http://tfl.nu/4sw9
  Replies (24) Good night (5742) Bad night (1521) Order T-Shirt
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  (716): View more from New York

  I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.

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  (716): I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas. http://tfl.nu/cqgv
  Replies (23) Good night (4470) Bad night (1201) Order T-Shirt
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  this is a time for prayers...seriously

  (1-973): View more from New Jersey

  let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.

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  (973): this is a time for prayers...seriously (1-973): let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen. http://tfl.nu/ovsa
  Replies (22) Good night (4869) Bad night (1224)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap

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  (904): masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap http://tfl.nu/sdgt
  Replies (9) Good night (3530) Bad night (744) Order T-Shirt
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence

  (415): View more from California

  shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.

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  (231): I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence (415): shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy. http://tfl.nu/3ya6
  Replies (12) Good night (8309) Bad night (813)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together

  (770): View more from Georgia

  The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy

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  (404): You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together (770): The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy http://tfl.nu/sw3w
  Replies (7) Good night (2767) Bad night (593)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.

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  (847): Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it. http://tfl.nu/tedk
  Replies (4) Good night (1170) Bad night (1186) Order T-Shirt
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  (310): View more from California

  we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.

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  (310): we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former. http://tfl.nu/kzo5
  Replies (1) Good night (1360) Bad night (555) Order T-Shirt
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  (852): View more from

  I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..

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  (852): I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again.. http://tfl.nu/4a3e
  Replies (4) Good night (313) Bad night (929) Order T-Shirt
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.

  (1-814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.

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  (814): I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work. (1-814): Either he has bad timing or he wants to join. http://tfl.nu/sgyz
  Replies (5) Good night (2157) Bad night (326)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.

  (1-512): View more from Texas

  I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.

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  (512): I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland. (1-512): I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies. http://tfl.nu/m9ig
  Replies (5) Good night (919) Bad night (235)
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  (315): View more from New York

  She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder

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  (315): She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder http://tfl.nu/9h6z
  Replies (5) Good night (949) Bad night (174) Order T-Shirt

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