You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
