from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
