Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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