What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
