just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize