I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
