Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
