I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
