absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
